Uncertainty stems from unpreparedness. Difficult on the training ground, easy on the battlefield is simply true in bed. If you have stage fright, if the stress is turning your stomach, if you're feeling uncomfortable despite the great news that the night has come when you and your new partner will hop into bed and make love for the first time, you need to go back to the training ground and get ready. You'll find that with a loaded experience, you'll automatically be much more relaxed. Today we'll talk about what never to do in bed and what to discuss with your partner before you have sex for the first time.
You definitely don't want the first night together to be chilled by some silly thing you forgot about instead of passion. The sensual atmosphere is for you to stimulate and definitely not for your partner to do. So what definitely not to do? And what to do, what to talk about?
Don't let yourself be seen in unsightly or unwashed underwear
One of the biggest embarrassments you can commit on the first night is showing off underwear that should have been in the washing machine long ago. Don't you worry about it so much when you're at work or with friends? But no one can see you there in underwear that smells, can they? And it's not just underwear. A sweaty, smelly T-shirt can smell bad if you take it off right next to your partner's nose, and so can your shorts. Is the excuse that you didn't expect your date to end in the bedroom valid? That's totally stupid! It's not. The best advice to remember is - always expect to end your date with sex - even the first one, you just never know! Also pay attention to style. Clean underwear may be the alpha and omega, but boxers that look like grandma picked them out definitely don't make a good impression. And it's gonna be dark in the bedroom? What if it's not?! Don't make a habit of turning off the lights all the time.
Don't leave everything to your partner
Every man should remember that women look to him for guidance. It's set up that way by nature, and even endless talk about equality won't change that. Of course, the key is to be able to perceive a woman, to listen and to be able to sense what she requires and expects from you, and to seek mutual harmony in all this. Finding the right balance takes time and experience, but trying is definitely better than remaining a passive dork and waiting to see what happens. Your attractiveness would go downhill fast that way. Decide how to push the foreplay further, when to move onto your back, when to your stomach, or feel free to move off the bed and onto the carpet. Be proactive and do your best. And you'll do best if you pay attention to how your partner feels, what turns her on more and what she doesn't want to allow yet because you don't know each other that well.
Don't pay attention to anything else
It may sound tempting to try to divert your attention from a situation you're not sure about to something else, like talking about a neutral topic, but believe me, you're only diminishing the overall cancellation and the delicate harmony you're both trying to make the sex the best it can be. Conversely, pay attention to nothing but your partner, individual movements, breathing, touching, and you will see that automatically the body will go into a kind of trance in which it can do its best completely automatically, as if perhaps you are reading each other's minds. To go as deeply as possible into the experience is your common task.
However, you can avoid awkward moments, misunderstandings and uncomfortable situations by talking - but certainly not in bed. That's before you get into it.
What works for whom
Getting along with each other is important, and it's definitely a topic you should casually bite on. Your partner will appreciate it, too, because she'll see that you're making an effort not to do anything that would bother her. In short, some women are subtle, even in bed, while others want to spank or otherwise tease occasionally, and that kind of rosy romance can't bring them to orgasm. It all comes down to memories of previous experiences and partners. In short, you can do something to the best of your knowledge without knowing that your partner had a bad experience with it in the past because of a previous partner. Everyone's body behaves differently and we should be clear about what our needs are.
Is it just you?
This may seem like a completely inappropriate and unnecessary topic. But what if you don't? Everyone has different needs, and some of us may have different ideas of what we mean by a relationship. So it's good to know where you stand and, if applicable, how you count. This will prevent any unpleasant surprises or future arguments. On the emotional side, there is also the health care side - if your partner is seeing someone else, you are a lover to her in addition to her main relationship, it is important to use protection at all times and not underestimate the risk of contracting STDs.
Share your intimate secrets
It pays to talk about your intimacy. Your partner will know better how to satisfy you perfectly and vice versa. You may be thinking that there's still time for a lot of confiding. Think of it this way - intimate, open communication will always bring you closer together faster. Plus, it can teach you a lot about people in general.